


Failures and Firsts

by Raiadel



Series: Jaesa's Awakening [4]
Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: Ambushes and Sneak Attacks, F/M, Guilt, Hoth, Hoth space station, Lightsaber Battles, Shame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-18
Updated: 2017-02-18
Packaged: 2018-09-25 10:51:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9816644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raiadel/pseuds/Raiadel
Summary: Hoth (round 2) happens. Mistakes are made. And Khryden gets the ball rolling.





	

The atmosphere in the ship was subdued melancholy. Only Vette seemed unaffected, having taken up the mantle of trying to lift everyone’s spirits with bad puns and well timed jokes. She stuck to it, even though no one reciprocated, or even smiled.

The announcement over the intercom came as a wakeup call as Quinn informed everyone that the ship was about to dock at the Hoth space station. Pierce waited by the holoterminal in full arctic gear, his blaster rifle in a cold resistant case on his back, and goggles hanging from a finger, redoing the Velcro patches on his gloves.

Coming out of her meditation room and seeing Pierce readying up, Jaesa swerved away from the holoterminal, redirecting her path to Khryden’s room, and tapping the door control before slipping inside. He was standing next to his bed finishing the last few straps on his armor, and glanced up as she entered before refocusing on his armor.

“I’m sorry for leaving you behind,” he said, fiddling with a strap on his arm, “but I need every advantage I can get with—”

His words were cut off with a sharp expulsion of air from his lungs as Jaesa threw her arms around him and squeezed.

“You do whatever you need to do,” she said fiercely. “Kill them all and come back alive.”

Though plainly stunned for a good three seconds, he recovered quickly, wrapping his arms around her reflexively and nuzzling her jawline. “I will wreak havoc on our enemies,” he promised.

A familiar female voice cut shrilly through the air, effectively destroying the mood. “Ew, Sithy flirting! Can’t you all flirt like normal people?! You know, without the death and killing and stuff?”

Jaesa squeezed her eyes shut, leaning her forehead against his shoulder in exasperation. “I forgot to close the door, didn’t I.”

Khryden’s response was a low chuckle, which prompted a smile to curve her lips as she felt it vibrate through his body. “My bedroom, with a closeable door, apparently has less privacy than your open meditation room. Duly noted.”

She felt the atmosphere change through the Force and he pulled back to hold her at arm length, face serious.

“I do not know what enemies await us on Hoth, if there are any, so I am placing you in charge while Pierce and I are on the surface. I want you to stay on high alert while I’m gone. The Force will warn you of an approaching attack, but only if you hear it. Vette will be busy with a mission, so please keep Quinn off her back. I will tell Broonmark to stay close to the ship so you will have added protection, but be careful, ok?”

She bowed formally. “Master, you worry too much. Go reclaim Armageddon Battalion. We will be ready when you return. Baras shall not win this day.”

\--=+=--

Waiting was a lot harder than Jaesa had expected.

No, scratch that. It was excruciating.

She had been spoiled being allowed to accompany Khryden on every one of his missions. Ever since she had joined, he had taken his role as her master seriously and decided that exposure to the galaxy would be the best teacher. She had taken up the role of his companion religiously and grew to enjoy it more and more.

This waiting was grating on her nerves and Quinn's absolute stillness in contrast to her obsessive pacing was distracting. The hangar was silent, but that didn't slow uneasy feeling that crept over her.

Was it Khryden? Her gut clenched. Was he in trouble? Should she try to contact him? Because of the physical distance, she wouldn't be able to speak to him mentally. Their bond was still there, but dimmed. He was ok, she could sense, but ‘ok’ was relative. She pressed harder. She didn't sense pain or anger, just mild annoyance.

Which meant the apprehension was coming from her connection to the Force, not his. She closed the bond firmly, concentrating on the environment around her in an attempt to differentiate. But the feeling stayed present and persistent and she was unable to pinpoint exactly where it was coming from.

She glanced at Quinn. His visage was stoic, but one finger betrayed his feelings by tapping a rhythm on his perfectly pressed pant leg. He was nervous.

Jaesa redirected her pacing until she paused next to him. “Do you feel it too?” she asked in a low voice.

Quinn looked pained. “I don't know what I feel, my lord. But in this context, I think...yes, I feel that something's off.”

She sensed it a moment too late.

Suddenly, Broonmark gave a very un-Broonmark-like sigh and collapsed. Sticking out from his back was a large tranquilizer dart. Jaesa spun, zeroing in on where the dart had come from, snatching her lightsaber and activating it with a flick of her wrist.

Someone was standing in the shadows on the far side of the hangar. Dropping the tranquilizer gun, it clattered to the floor loudly.

“I thought it would be more difficult to get the drop in you. Guess I was wrong.”

She knew the voice too well. It had haunted her dreams ever since that fateful day on Quesh. Her eyes narrowed and rage flared in her chest, more than she thought was possible. Her eyes fixed on him, vision tinged with red.

“Draagh.”

Her voice was low and dangerous. So much anger packed into one name. She didn't know if she could hate anyone more than the man in front of her now. He was directly responsible for the cavern collapse assassination attempt and consuming anger burned in her veins. Behind her, Quinn flinched ever so slightly at her tone.

The Sith before her was full of rage, but still managed to smile.

“Jaesa. Still with Khryden, I see? Didn't get the sense knocked into you with the rocks dropped on you on Quesh? I thought I'd taken you both out. Or maybe I only half succeeded. I don't see your master.”

Deep inside her, her special power resided and it answered her summons immediately, rising to the surface and surrounding Draagh. _Anger, pain, shame. He had failed to complete his mission on Quesh, and Baras had been disappointed. After a few rounds of force lightning, he had promised several times over not to fail again, if he were only given a second chance. Baras agreed. He had another chance. This time, take out Khryden’s companions first. Don't let them help him. Then, kill Khryden. And this time, make sure he's dead. Resolve, determination, fury._ She withdrew, the entire process taking only a few seconds, and now knowing with certainty his purpose here. Previously, she had assumed his alliance, and she had been horribly disillusioned. Friends today could be enemies tomorrow. She would not make the same mistake again.

“You have no business being here,” she snarled, avoiding the obvious bait. “Take one more step and I will rip your limbs from your body.”

“Ooh,” Draagh mocked her, feigning fear. “Feisty. I can see why Khryden likes you so much. Too willful for my tastes, though. Where's that little Twi’lek slave?”

Jaesa's lightsaber point never wavered. “Leave now. I will not give you another warning.”

Quinn thumbed the safety off of his blaster with a soft click, drawing Draagh’s gaze.

He smiled slowly. “Captain Quinn. How nice to see you again. I hope you've thought deeply about where your loyalties lie.”

Jaesa was focused completely on the immediate threat. She fed off the betrayal and anger flowing through her, boosting her dark side connection in preparation for the imminent fight.

He drew his gaze back to her, expression sharpening. “Baras was less than amused when his old apprentice survived. But hearing that you were alive, he was… thrilled. He asked me to offer you a position as his newest apprentice. You are tainted by Khryden’s influence, but anything can be undone in time. You will be cleansed and have a Sith master with true dark side mastery. So what do you say? Ready to take your place as a real Sith?”

Fresh rage boiled up and Jaesa made a split second decision. Reaching out to Quinn, she barged inelegantly into his mind. _Quinn, get into the ship the moment I engage and contact Khryden or Pierce and tell them to get here as fast as possible. Draagh is strong. I don't know how long I'll be able to hold him off._

Jaesa threw out a hand, grabbing one of the shipping crates against the wall with the Force, and flinging it at Draagh. He dove to the side, barely avoiding it and got up, calmly brushing himself off while Jaesa seethed. “Does that answer your question, coward? Come fight me, if you can. Or are you too used to being Baras’ lapdog?”

Jaesa felt Quinn’s hesitance to leave her, but she exerted her will more firmly. _Do it. I can handle myself against him better than you can._ She felt his nod and withdrew, focusing completely on her opponent _._

Draagh laughed coldly, activating his brilliant red blade. “I took the position your master vacated. I am not Baras’ lapdog, I am his executioner. And the time has come for you to die.”

Draagh’s beady eyes flicked from Jaesa to Quinn and back again, curious, while flourishing his saber. He caught the tiny nod Quinn gave and narrowed his eyes suspiciously. They were planning something, the Sith knew. But what? He found out what a moment later when Jaesa screamed a war cry and Force leapt toward him and the captain immediately spun around and sprinted for the ship. Where the communication terminal was.

Reacting, Draagh twisted, deflecting Jaesa’s lightsaber with his own and Force pushing her with a burst of power across the hangar, wrapping her in Force stasis. In a flash, his left hand extended, snatching Quinn with the Force and whipping him against the side of the ship. The captain’s head contacted the hull with a sharp crack and went limp as Draagh dropped him to the floor.

Jaesa freed herself with a burst of power and fell to the ground. She slowly picked herself up from where she'd landed and calmly wiped the thin dribble of blood from her nose. Her newly healed ribs had made a crunching sound as they re-broke and the pain was worse than ever, but she barely felt it. Just like that, Quinn was out of commission. It was up to her to defend her master’s property and the rest of the crew. She was the last line of defense. A heightened calm fell over her and she held out her right hand blindly from her side, calling her weapon. The hilt answered, speeding to her waiting palm, and she activated it once more, blood red blade casting a red hue on her robes.

She launched herself at him, the words _fight like you've never fought before_ beat a mantra in her head. They traded blows, lightsabers humming, for a short amount of time, but it was only a matter of time before Draagh’s exceedingly powerful strokes began to get the better of her. This fight was nothing like the last one. While the Jedi had been methodical and dedicated to forms and strokes, Draagh was a powerhouse of energy. What he lacked in technique he made up for in shear strength.

Lightsabers whirled, clashing with increasing frequency. Jaesa was pushed to her limits, her breath coming rapidly as the tempo picked up. Faster, faster, faster. Turn. Block. Switch sides. Watch the riposte. Duck. Deflect. He’s swinging faster, you have to respond. Move. Faster.

It seemed that Draagh tired of the duel the exact moment that their lightsabers clashed together in an X, sparks flying from the connection between the two beams, and seized the opportunity. He deflected her saber, darting close and grabbing her right wrist with an iron grip, twisting savagely, making her yelp and drop her lightsaber hilt. He grinned as he twisted harder, drinking in her cries of pain.

She gritted her teeth, feeling tendons and ligaments strain to their breaking point and snap.

She heard a zap and Draagh roared in pain, releasing her and stumbling backwards a few steps while clutching a smoking hole in his shoulder. Rolling away, Jaesa scrambled to her feet, cradling her injured arm. Searching furtively for the source of the shot, her eyes landed on a small blue head poking out from behind the supplies crate next to the now open door of the ship.

 _Vette_.

The Twi’lek was crouched behind the cover of the crate, a look of hardened concentration on her face and both of her blasters drawn. Her shot had been perfectly placed, tearing through the light mesh that connected Draagh’s shoulder pauldron to his chest piece and into the rotator cuff beneath it.

Taking advantage of Draagh's momentary stun, Jaesa flicked her uninjured hand, ripping a chunk out of the staircase and sending it hurtling at the intruder. Draagh threw out a hand, redirecting the majority of the debris, but his concentration wavered and he flinched as the tinier pieces pelted his uncovered face and neck. Her wrist was turning a dark purple, but she lashed out with both hands, pouring all of her energy into holding him in stasis as Vette popped out of cover and peppered him with blaster shots.

He struggled ineffectually and Jaesa dared to allow herself to hope. _Maybe we can hold out_.

Roaring, Draagh broke her stasis with a flash of dark energy and gestured, pulling up a Force shield tightly around himself to deflect the bullets before turning on Jaesa. Cutting a hand towards her, a whip of pure Force energy jolted from his palm and sped towards her. Jaesa dove to the side, landing on her good arm, but she was a hair too late. The whip snagged her ankle and cut through her boot like acid, tightening immediately to her skin. Draagh jerked his arm, the whip picking Jaesa up from the ground effortlessly and flinging her into the stack of supply crates next to the ship. She crashed into them with a yelp, barreling right through them and contacting the ship's hull harshly, denting the durasteel with her body and knocking the wind out of her. Dazed and overcome with the sudden surge of pain, Jaesa could only lay there, blinking slowly and gasping for breath as Draagh advanced on Vette.

The Twi’lek cast a desperate glance at her friend's downed body, then set her mouth in a determined line. Whipping out two stims, she bit the caps off and sank both needles into her thigh. The artificial adrenaline jolted her system and she spun both blasters once around her fingers, glaring at Draagh with undisguised hatred. “That was my friend you uncultured freak! You're so dead!”

Draagh chuckled, not even bothering to respond and darted forward. With stim boosted reflexes, Vette dodged the attack and hammered three shots into his already wounded shoulder. She ducked under his backhand strike, popping up and slamming the butt of her offhand pistol into the pauldron of the same shoulder. The Sith yelled in pain, spinning to retaliate with Force power gathered in his fist. But Vette wasn't there.

“Gonna have to be faster if you want to catch me,” she taunted from behind him. “I've fought more force users one on one than I can count.”

Draagh growled, whipping around.

“I was with Lord Khryden from the start,” Vette laughed, egging him on. “I learned quickly how to deal with your kind. Most of them die of embarrassment after being defeated by a skinny Twi’lek!”

Draagh snarled. “Pray to your alien gods for the last time, slave. Baras said nothing about not killing you.”

Vette paled, but couldn't find a chance to respond before Draagh struck. Their battle was an unbalanced dance, with Draagh struggling to get closer as Vette strove to keep distance between them. She focused on his injured arm, taking whatever injuring shot she could, but most of her arsenal was going towards a frontal assault in an attempt to keep the Sith at a distance. But Draagh was having none of it. He patiently waited for his opening, and got it. Deflecting some of her bolts back at her, he forced Vette to dodge, rolling to the side. The moment she came up on a knee, he thrust out a hand, wrapping Force tendrils around her narrow neck and lifting her off the ground. Vette choked, her eyes widening as she fought against the invisible energy to no avail. Draagh spat some blood on the floor and advanced slowly. The Twi’lek’s struggling became more pronounced as she plainly beheld her imminent death.

Draagh drew close enough to whisper in her ear. “Fortunately for you, you’re a valuable bargaining chip. Khryden has taken a liking to you. So I won’t kill you. Yet.”

He pulled back his fist and slammed it into her jaw in a devastating uppercut, knocking Vette out instantly.

Her heart pounding in her chest, Jaesa struggled to her feet, feeling the thin wall between her and pools of madness crumble with Vette’s body. She shrieked, thrusting out her hands and pouring every drop of rage into one last attack as darkness exploded in her mind.

Brilliant purple lightning exploded from her fingertips, arcing across the distance between the two Sith and contacting Draagh’s swiftly raised blade in a shower of sparks. He grimaced, bending backward beneath the attack, both hands curled firmly around his lightsaber hilt. Inch by inch, he pressed back, shortening the stream of lightning with every step he took until they were within arm’s reach of each other.

Jaesa was flagging, her fury sapping her adrenaline, but Draagh seemed to flourish on an unending supply of energy. As soon as it became clear that she was weakening, Draagh struck.

He snapped out a foot, kicking her viciously in the knee and cracking her kneecap with a crunch. Her leg giving way beneath her, Jaesa collapsed onto her other knee, blinded by pain. Her check suddenly flared in a bloom of pain and she was propelled to the ground. Draagh stood over her, shaking his hand.

He locked eyes with Jaesa and slowly, ominously, raised his hand as if holding a cup. Invisible hands gripped her neck and she struggled with renewed vitality as her body lifted into the air, hovering mere inches off the ground, choking the life from her. She tried to summon more lightning, but only weak sparks sprayed from her fingertips and Draagh brushed them off with a hiss and tightened his grip. Her eyes widened as she fought for breath.

“I take back what I said earlier. You are much more fun to play with than the Twi’lek was. Don’t worry. I’m not letting you die yet.” Draagh crooned. “I want to see the look on his face as he bleeds out while watching you all die in front of him.”

Seconds passed and her struggles grew weaker. Her lungs screamed for oxygen, rubbing her throat raw from the inside, and her brain was beginning to slow in its frantic attempts to free the constriction.

Her eyes blurred. Darkness began to overtake her vision, and already she could feel the alluring threads of unconsciousness grasping at her. At least Khryden wouldn’t feel her defeat through the bond—

 _The bond!_ Weakly, she reached out with the last of her strength, cracking it open and nearly passing out from relief when she felt his proximity. He was near!

_Khryden…trap…help…_

She pushed her emotional state through the bond moments before she finally succumbed to the infinite black void.

\--=+=--

_Rage was inches from consuming him whole. It was only by the grace of some god that he didn't rip off Draagh’s traitorous face as soon as he showed it. He was barely aware of the red aura licking the air around him like fire, and he thrust open the doors to the hangar with a sharp Force burst._

_Next to him, Pierce inhaled sharply. There stood the traitor, surrounded by bodies. Quinn, Broonmark, Vette, and... Jaesa. Her unconscious form. There were no words to describe the all-consuming fire that almost blinded him upon seeing her unmoving figure. Darkness surged through him and he nearly lost his grip on sanity for the first time since the Academy. He stopped in his tracks, having to concentrate fully for a moment to rein the dark side power in so as not to explode the entire docking bay and everyone in it._

_Anger flared to a peak in response and he felt his dry palms grip twin lightsaber hilts. The white hot rage to flowed so close to the surface, his aura flaring as the Force rage came so easily to his current state of mind. “Lord Draagh.”_

_The other Sith turned at his entrance. “Lord Khryden! You’re looking well for someone I blew up. I was just asking your whereabouts to your minions, but they all seemed as clueless as they look. None of them could give me a straight answer. They put up a decent fight, though. Darth Baras and I will put them to good use.”_

If that’s the truth, then I’m the king of Dubrillion. _Khryden thought, narrowing his eyes_.

_“Baras is the true Voice of the Emperor,” Draagh continued. “It’s only a matter of time before he claims his rightful title.”_

_“I've learned not to put any stock in what you or Baras say anymore, traitor. Every word that comes from your mouth is part of a greater lie while Baras pulls the strings.” Khryden stalked forward, holding his unlit hilts out to either side, with Pierce hovering a few steps behind. “Vengeance will be mine, Draagh. First you, then Baras.”_

_“How charming,” Draagh snarled. “After you refused to die on Quesh, you forced me to take this into my own hands. Baras held back while training you, but he taught me everything.”_

_“You are deluding yourself. There is nothing that I did not discover from Baras while serving him.”_

_Draagh’s tone was touched with false pity. “Baras thinks years ahead, Khryden. He knew before he even took you in that you would become his patsy.”_

_Khryden narrowed his eyes and cocked his head contemptuously. “Do you know_ why _I was on Hoth, Draagh?”_

_The Sith lord flicked his lightsaber blade, agitated. “I do not question my lord Baras._

_Khryden’s eyebrows rose condescendingly. “So I, the patsy former apprentice, is better informed about my old master's plans than his current_ fully-trained _apprentice. I think there's something to be said about Baras’ paranoia and looming downfall. And not to mention his penchant for lies and half-truths.”_

_“What is the point of this?” Draagh looked at Khryden incredulously. “You don't actually believe that I'll join you, do you?”_

_The Emperor’s Wrath grinned maliciously. “Of course not. I only seek to disillusion you about your position before you die.”_

_“If that’s how you want it. Can’t say I’m very surprised, or sad. This time, however, to make sure you stay dead,” Draagh smirked. “I’ll take your head.”_

\--=+=--

Jaesa came awake slowly, as if in a dream. She couldn’t feel anything at first, then gradually became aware of the soothing waves of kolto lapping against her body and relaxed. She was alive. She sucked in a deep breath, reveling in every moment of unrestricted oxygen, then cracked open her eyelids. A mask was adhered to her nose and mouth, supplying her with air, and the goggles over her eyes warped the outside world. But the familiar scene of the Fury’s medbay she saw reassured her more. They were not being taken to Baras. Khryden had gotten to them in time.

Blinking sluggishly, she peered at Quinn’s indistinct form outside the kolto tank, slouched against the wall reading a datapad with something white wrapped around his head. Her brain didn’t quite want to work yet, and that was ok with her. Sleep seemed way more important at the moment, anyway.

\--=+=--

The next time she woke, she was more lucid and beginning to feel the effects of tank claustrophobia. Her uneasy shifting caused her vitals to skyrocket and Quinn to come racing into the med bay. He snatched the device hanging on the side of the tank, speaking into it and subsequently, the aids inserted into her ears.

“Jaesa, can you hear me?”

She flicked her fingers at him as she nodded. Hurry this up.

“Good.” Quinn made a note on a nearby datapad. “I know you probably want to get out of there, so I’ll make this brief. You suffered numerous injuries in the fight against Lord Draagh, including a shattered kneecap, broken wrist and hand bones, a sprained elbow, a concussion, bruising on your throat and back, and re-breaking a few ribs. The injuries were not as bad as they could have been, courtesy of Lord Khryden taking out Lord Draagh as soon as possible, and you should feel nothing but a little soreness when I drain the tank. That being said, you still need to take it slow. Your balance will be off for a few minutes.”

Quinn tapped a few more things into his datapad, then set it down.

“I’m going to drain the tank now. Remember, take it slow.”

The captain moved quickly, flipping levers and turning dials on the tank’s control panel, starting the draining process. The smooth, cool feeling slipped away, leaving her skin feeling soft and pliant. Her feet contacted the bottom of the tube moments before the glass covering opened and she pitched forward, her balance completely off.

Strong hands caught her on both sides and Quinn practically carried her over to a chair. Now that she was out of the temperature controlled environment of the kolto tank, being dressed in just a sports bra and boyshort underwear wasn't optimal for keeping her warm. She shivered, her internal equilibrium completely off kilter.

Quinn offered her a blanket, helping her sweep it around her shoulders. “How do you feel?”

She summoned a weak smile. “I feel fine. No lasting injuries, I'm sure.”

“I'll get you some clothes in a moment. Lord Khryden is currently conversing with the Hand and it would be disrupting for you to walk through as you are while the holoterminal is active, but there is a spare robe here. Go ahead and pull it on and I'll inspect your injuries.”

Jaesa complied silently, letting Quinn examine her freshly healed wounds with swift efficiency. Sensing her melancholy, the captain finished and went to retrieve her clothes without another word.

She sat alone in the darkened medbay, staring at the wall, unable to feel anything except the cold that seeped slowly into her soul. Khryden had saved her. Again. She had failed to protect the crew. The ever burning fire in her spirit was darkened by shame as the disgrace crashed over her.

Quinn returned a few minutes later, her freshly laundered and repaired robes on his arm and he handed them to her, hesitating as she took them. “Do you need anything else, my lord?”

“Jaesa,” she corrected absently. She let her power slide over him quickly, noting his awareness of her odd mood and attempted to assuage him. “No, Quinn, I’m fine.”

He plainly didn’t believe her, but he retreated from the medbay silently and she dressed methodically, weighed down by her failure. She would have to face Khryden sooner or later, but she was dreading the confrontation. At the very least, she would be punished somehow. 

She stood slowly, regaining her equilibrium, and drew herself up, throwing back her shoulders and raising her chin defiantly. It was her incompetence that had led to Draagh’s attack. She would accept whatever penalty Khryden deigned to mete out with strength and poise. _Even if he decides to kill me?_ She flinched. Even then. Full dedication to one’s master was priority one, and her dedication to Khryden would never waver.

Thus reinvigorated with a sense of purpose, Jaesa applied fresh makeup to her eyes and lips, drawing bold lines with purple war paint over black eyeliner and pale lip gloss, using her reflection in the kolto tank. Casting her gaze around for her lightsaber, she felt a pang of loss as her search returned nothing. Without its comforting weight on her hip, this confrontation just got a whole lot harder.

Jaesa clasped her hands together over her breast. “The Force shall free me.”

She allowed herself a moment of meditation before striding out of the medbay and into the communications room. Quinn had been correct. Khryden was in the midst of a discussion with the Hand’s Servant One.

“I agree in full,” he was saying. “I will contact you then.”

Jaesa waited until he shut off the holoterminal before walking silently into the room. She touched him gently with her power, reading exhaustion, satisfaction, and a bit of nervousness and apprehension. He turned, feeling the brush of her power and beckoned her closer, leaning his hip against the terminal casually and folding his arms. “I have good news and bad news,” he said. “Which do you want to hear first?”

She swallowed on a suddenly dry throat. “Neither. I—We need to talk.”

His eyebrows shot together in a frown as the playful atmosphere dissipated. He dropped his arms to his sides and pushed off from the terminal, standing straight. “What’s wrong?”

_This is it. Spit it out._

Biting back her indomitable pride, she knelt before him, bowing her head contritely. “My lord, I beg your forgiveness. I have failed you in allowing your enemies access to your ship, and in being unable to protect your assets. I am fully responsible for my failure and I recognize the need for punishment. All I ask is that you give me another chance to atone for my mistakes.”

Silence stretched between then and a lump of fear and shame lodged in her throat. From her position on the floor, she could not see his expression or reaction to her admission, but the longer he went without saying anything, the more her confidence deteriorated. Her blood pressure rose, pounding in her ears and she felt her face flush pink with humiliation.

Finally, he gave a defeated sigh. “Jaesa, stand up.”

She hesitated. Was this a test? “No, my lord, I deserve this. I have failed you in your explicit instructions given to me. Whatever punishment you deign to descend upon me will not be resented. I recognize my shortcomings and I vow to do better.”

Utter silence stretched between them like the void of empty space. The longer it went, the more she began to panic.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when iron fingers encircled her bicep and pulled her to a standing position. She stole a glance at his face, but it was impassive, and turned slightly downward, avoiding her gaze. The silence was getting to be too much. She was going to crack.

Jaesa bit her lip, tense frustration making the words burst from her mouth. “Say something!”

There was a moment of soundlessness as the words seemed to reverberate throughout the room. Finally, he raised his gaze to meet hers a bit sadly. “Do you want me to get mad?” he asked quietly.

She opened her mouth, but the words died on her lips and she felt herself wilt. Yes, she felt like she deserved more of a punishment. But this response from Khryden had thrown her expectations and preparations all out of whack. She didn't know what she wanted anymore.

“If you want me to get mad, I'll do it. But only for the sake of jolting you out of this poisonous melancholy, and for nothing else.”

Her emotions were so tangled that she didn't know what she was feeling anymore. All she could do was stand there like a child being scolded, biting her lip and staring a hole in the floor.

“I would take no pleasure in it. I don't revel in tearing subordinates down emotionally like some Sith do. The fact that you know what you did wrong and you are driven to do better is enough for me.”

She wanted to cry but the tears wouldn't come. Was she sad, or was she happy? Jaesa just didn't know.

“Jaesa. Look at me.”

She raised tumultuous eyes.

“I don't blame you,” he said softly. “If I were to fatally punish everyone that ever made a mistake under me, I'd have no more underlings. I unknowingly sent you up against a Sith twice as strong as you. I consider us both lucky that he didn't kill you. With the Force bond in place, Jaesa, we are tied to each other. It would have hurt me nearly as much as it would have hurt you had Draagh deemed you unimportant enough to kill.”

“I still failed.” She was pleased to hear her voice steady, with no tremors, though it sounded dead to her ears.

“Jaesa, put it in perspective. Draagh was trained by two extremely powerful Darths for a good deal of time, even before you came to me. You have just begun your education. You have the untrained power to match Draagh, but he had the preparation. And nine times out of ten, planning will win against raw strength.”

She blinked, barely daring to hope. “You’re not mad? You usually kill those that fail you.”

He shook his head, a wry smile ghosting over his lips. “My fight with Draagh was a grueling test for me. He refused to give up until he was completely beaten. And besides, you are of a certain rank as my apprentice. The fact that you’re Force sensitive and furthermore dedicated to my cause, make you more important than the average soldier. But things will only get easier with training. The more combat and Force practice you get in between now and Corellia will help immensely when we inevitably face hordes of Jedi on the planet.” He cocked his head. “Well, I guess that ruins the bad news part. You still have to practice.”

A relieved smile fluttered over her lips. “What’s the good news?”

“Vacation. Four days on Nar Shaddaa. The Hand thinks Baras might know we’re alive for certain now, and they want us to keep our heads down for a bit. Servant One said—and I agree—that we all needed time to heal naturally before landing in the middle of a warzone.”

“ _Another_ warzone,” she corrected.

He tipped his head, pretending to think about it. “Yes, we do seem to be falling into a pattern here. Something goes wrong and only we can fix it amidst the bombs falling from the sky. Unless that is normal…” He shook his head harshly. “No. See what’s going on? I’m starting to think this madness is _normal_.”

He grinned so childishly that Jaesa couldn’t stop the responding smirk from taking over.

“There’s that smile,” Khryden said triumphantly. He calmed, grabbing her hands. “We all make mistakes, Jaesa. I would be remiss if I killed everyone who disappointed me in some way, and I value you, as my apprentice and companion, a lot more than a common grunt.”

“Whom you would have killed.”

“Precisely.”

His words were reassuring, but she needed concrete proof. Reaching out with her power, she glanced deep inside him, reading his true intentions. He started a bit when she first made contact, but relaxed and let her work. It only took a moment, but she saw all she needed to see. There wasn’t an inch of falsity to his words. But there was a growing feeling of nervousness concerning _her_. One that she was increasingly interested about. Relieved and intrigued, she withdrew, letting her fears wash away and a coy smile light her features. “You wanted to ask me something?”

Khryden grinned a bit sheepishly. “Well, I wanted to wait for the right moment, but Draagh got in the way and you were injured and everything happened so fast, and well… I guess I have no more excuses.” A faint tinge of pink bloomed over his pale cheeks. “Right. I, uh, have a reservation at this nice restaurant on the Upper Promenade. Well, it’s nothing special, but the reviews on the holonet were good, at least, that’s what Vette said, and, uh, I figured you’d like to come with me?”

Warmth flared inside her, traveling at breakneck speed from her toes to her head, prompting her own cheeks to flush. “Khryden, are you asking me out on a date?”

Her Sith lord cupped her face with one hand, smoothing a gloved thumb over the matching blush. “I am, if that’s what you want.”

She reached up, covering his hand with hers while unable to ignore the fluttering feeling in her stomach. “Yes.”

A mischievous smile quirked his lips as he stroked her cheek one last time before lowering his hand. “One more thing, though. I do need to penalize you somehow, or else Vette will accuse me of playing favorites.”

“I thought you and Vette didn’t get along,” she grumbled.

“We have a sort of… peace accord between us for now, courtesy, in part, by you. I promised to stop breathing down her neck and constantly threatening her, and in return, she said she would try to be less obnoxious and that she consented do a favor for me.”

She winced. “So what is my punishment?”

He was trying so hard to keep a straight face, but the corners of his mouth twitched amusingly. “You get to clean and perform oil maintenance on 2V-R8 for the next six months.”

Jaesa groaned. “Maintenance? For six months?”

Her master snickered. “And he has to be powered on.”

Her face fell into her hands. “I have to listen to his groveling on _top_ of all that? Shoot me now.”

“Good news!” Khryden stopped trying to hide it and broke into an impish smile. “You can start today!”

Feeling suddenly like a child being directed by her parents, she stuck out her tongue and stomped immaturely out of the communications room, hearing his chuckle follow her as she left.

“Well, I did ask for this,” she mumbled _. I wonder if there’s any way I can speed up the process?_

Walking distractedly, Jaesa was jolted from her reverie by Pierce’s deep voice mentioning their lord.

“You wouldn’t have believed it, Vette. I’ve never seen Lord Khryden go so pale. White as a sheet, he was.”

Jaesa stopped in her tracks. Eavesdropping was rude, she _knew_ that! But stars, was it tempting. Biting her lip guiltily, Jaesa leaned against the wall, assuming a casual posture carefully out of sight through the open door

“He just stopped? In the middle of the spaceport?”

“Yeah, then just started running. I’ve worked with enough Sith to know that they can use mind tricks to communicate with each other. I’m thinking that’s happened. Cause when we got in there, that piece of shit Draagh had just dropped Jaesa and was stepping away from her body. And Lord Khryden was _furious_. He was the angriest I have ever seen him. You know me, Vette. Sith don’t scare me like they used to. But that moment there, I feared for my life. I probably would have shit my pants had that anger been directed at me. But he just stormed in there, destroyed Draagh after one hell of a duel, and threw the bastard over the railing into the fire below.”

“I knew it!” Vette crowed. “I knew he loved her!”

Jaesa felt her face drain of blood, then flush deeply.

“Who, _Jaesa_? Is that who you’ve been trying to set up? With our lord?” Pierce’s disbelief was tainted with a touch of dawning realization and Jaesa could hear him scratch his bearded chin thoughtfully.

“Well, yeah. And it hasn’t been hard, honestly. Those two are _made_ for each other.” She giggled.

“I thought you hated him.”

Vette’s tone was subdued. “Well, I did. For the longest time, he refused to take my old shock collar off. He rarely used it, but he never trusted me enough to remove it. And when he finally did, he ordered Captain Stuffypants of all people to keep an eye on me. I was more than a little insulted.”

Pierce was quiet. “Would you leave, given the chance?”

The Twi’lek hesitated. “Ya know, for a while when it was just me and him, I never stopped looking for an opportunity to run. But I felt a little guilty leaving him to the wolves. I mean, yeah, he’s an almighty Sith and all, but on Drommund Kaas I never had a chance and Balmorra was hell for both of us. Part of me was relieved when Captain Stuffypants joined us, and I thought that I could slip away no problem on Nar Shaddaa.” There was a pause. “But he never took the collar off. The more he persisted, the more I hated him. I mean, I’d saved his life countless times, and he never thanked me by giving me the one thing I wanted most. My freedom.”

“So what changed?”

Vette sighed. “Jaesa, actually. When she sent that message asking to meet like civilized people, it was obviously a trap. Lord Khryden knew that. So when we docked at the meeting place, he told Captain Quinn to suit up and called me over.” Her voice took on a wistful tone. “He took the shock collar off and it was the _best feeling ever_. But then he explained that even though this was definitely a trap, he was going to walk into it anyway. And if he and Quinn didn’t come back, I had a few days of unrestricted use of the Fury before Baras was going to wonder what happened and impound it. I asked why he was doing this now, and he said he didn’t want me falling into Baras’ hands. So I countered with, ‘I could just take the ship and leave when you step off.’ And he just looked at me with a weird look in his eye and said, ‘Besides the fact that that’s a terrible idea, I trust you.’ Then he completely destroyed the mood by reminding me that if that happened, there would be nowhere in the galaxy that I could hide.”

Pierce huffed a laugh. “That sounds like him.”

“Yeah. He never mentioned it afterwards. Or tried to put the collar back on.” She snorted. “Like I would let him. And when Jaesa joined us, she was actually nice to me. So I decided to hang around, and well, things have improved.”

“Speaking of improved, how’s the head? Heard you took a bit of a beating.”

Vette scoffed. “Please, I had Draagh on the ropes when he decided to pull some Force bullshit on me. Not gonna lie, though, it was getting hairy in there. I’m surprised he left us alive. Hell, I’m surprised _Jaesa’s_ still alive. I though he was gonna kill her with how much he was throwing her around.”

“She’s tough,” Pierce rumbled. “She was the worst injured when we brought you guys into the ship, but I’ll bet you she’ll be out soon.”

“No deal. I know for a fact she’s too stubborn to stay in the kolto tank any longer than she has to. I wouldn’t be surprised if she walked out on her own soon enough.”

“Besides, there’s only so much an overload of kolto can do,” Pierce agreed.

“I think that’s why we’re going to Nar Shaddaa— _which_ , by the way, I am _so_ excited for! A little unwinding time is _exactly_ what we all need. Everybody’s a little too uptight, especially after those double Draagh situations.”

“Agreed. A little R&R goes a long way, especially if this is the last vacation we get for a while. Ah, I’d better get going. Got some things to take care of before we dock.”

“Yeah, me too. I got a thing Lord Khryden asked me to do. Plus I might stop by the med bay for some pain meds. Headache’s back full force. See you, Pierce.”

“Take it easy, Vette.”

Jaesa jolted back to herself, hearing Pierce’s heavy footsteps near her and pushed off from her position leaning against the wall, speed walking down the hall to continue her search for 2V-R8. Turning the corner, she spotted the droid humming cheerily as it mopped the engine room and set her mouth in a determined line like a rancor buster looking at his latest challenge. Flexing her fingers, Jaesa stalked towards him, snatching a bottle of motor oil and a cloth from a table and wielding them like dual weapons.

The droid looked up as she approached, tottering in a circle until it faced her. “Oh my, mistress! You are looking murderous today. Oh, is it time for my cleaning? I assure you I will be the perfect patient.”

“Just stand there and shut up,” Jaesa muttered. “The sooner this is over, the better I’ll feel about the existence of my sanity.”

“Of course, mistress! Whatever you order, I will be more than happy to do! As long as it does not include combat, aggression, or any form of decapitation. Lead on, mistress!”

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Thank you to all the people who have clicked, gave kudos, and commented! You are all my favorite people. Cheers!


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